After 2 days of intermittent contractions, i was finally checked into the hospital and excited to meet my baby. first thing on the checklist, get an epidural! i chose the walking epidural over the standard version. it’s a modified recipe that doesn’t fully numb your legs so that you can still walk. the good news was that the epidural completely took away the pain from my contractions. i was able to sleep comfortably. the bad news was that every time i sat up to walk, i got extremely nauseous. the narcotics in the epidural was not agreeing with me. pain killers were never my friend, so it’s no surprise this wasn’t working for me. when the epidural wore off, i received a “watered down” version of the standard epidural and the nausea went away.
when i checked in, i was 4cm dilated. a few hours later, i was almost 6cms. things were moving slowly, but they were progressing. i took a nap, and when i woke up, i was still 6 cms and my contractions had slowed down. i was at a stand still so they decided to break my water. it’s a weird feeling to have people take care of what’s going on “downstairs”. you lose all privacy during labor, and have to allow multiple people access to your vagina. i don’t know if i ever got comfortable with it.
after they broke my water, i was still at 6 cms. hello baby, are you coming today?! the doc decided to give me pitocin. they started me on a low dose, with no results. they dialed up the dosage an hour later and things were finally moving… quickly! out of no where i started feeling pressure in my pelvis and i was 10cms. i had checked into the hospital around 2:30 am, and it was almost 10:30 pm when i started pushing. finally!
i pushed for a little over an hour before Milo was born. with each contraction and push, i had no idea if i was doing it right. there are no classes on how to actually push, and since you are numb from the epidural, you don’t actually feel your muscles pushing. the doc asked if i wanted a mirror to see what was going on down there, but i definitely did not want that. in the delivery room there was around a dozen people in there waiting for Milo, so that they can check his heart. he spent 24hrs in the NICU, and was sent down to our room for us to take care of him. this tiny human being was now in our care, and we had no idea what we were doing.
it was a long process, but i would do it all over again. it’s funny how you can go 33 years without someone in your life, but the second they arrive, you never want to experience another day without them. i love you Milo (even when you keep me up all night because you’re gassy and spitting up)